


Finding Purpose

by cindyls1969



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-09
Updated: 2014-07-13
Packaged: 2018-02-08 17:53:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1950621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cindyls1969/pseuds/cindyls1969
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been three years since their 8th and final year at Hogwarts. Harry is trying and failing to find a place in a Voldemort free world and Draco thinks it's time he did something to repay Harry for saving him and everyone else. If it make Draco happy as well, all the better.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The door opened, creaking quietly on the hinges. The man who entered the potions shop had tousled dark hair and dull green eyes. They stayed glued to the floor as the man approached the counter, only rising when it was necessary to speak to the man behind the counter. 

When the his eyes finally reached the face of the potions master, they widened slightly in shock before he sighed resignedly and turned to leave.

“Where are you going, Potter?”  There was no anger or malice in the words and maybe that’s why the man stopped. He answered without turning around.

“Sorry, Draco, I didn’t know this was your shop. My healer sent me here for a sleeping potion. If it’s any consolation, he said yours was the best that he knew of.” Harry sighed and finally turned to look at him and Draco was shocked at how exhausted the other man looked.

“For god’s sake, Harry, how long has it been since you slept?” Draco was sure it had been weeks at the very least. Everything about the man was listless and faded like an old portrait.

Harry shrugged. “I sleep…some. It just doesn’t come easy these days.” He smiled softly but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Anyway, I’ll just go.”

He turned to leave again, almost stumbling over his feet and Draco was around the counter in a second, grabbing his arm and steadying him on his feet. He didn’t let go, just led an unresisting Harry to the back office and sat him down on the small sofa he used for relaxing when he was stressed.

“Now, would you like to explain why you’re trying to leave without your potion?”

Harry blinked up at him owlishly, looking at Draco like he was daft and then looked down at his feet. “Well, as I’m pretty sure you hate me, I thought you’d prefer if I fetched my potion from somewhere else.”

Draco looked at him for a moment, trying to figure out what to say before sighing and scrubbing his hands over his face. “I don’t hate you, Harry.” 

The dark haired man looked up, startled. “You don’t?” The confusion and hope in his eyes was almost too much for Draco. “Why not? Everyone else seems to.” The words were so quiet that he almost didn’t hear them. Draco would have wondered where the brash, brave boy that saved them all went, but he knew.

Draco crouched down in front of Harry and took his hand. “They don’t hate you either, they just resent you.”

Harry looked totally bewildered at that. “What in Merlin’s name for? Because I didn’t die?” 

Draco could see the tears forming behind those expressive eyes. “They resent you because you were brave and smart and you saved us all. Now they expect you to want something for it; and from what I can see, you don’t. They don’t know how to deal with that.”

As the tears began to slide down Harry’s face, Draco reached into his pocket and pulled out a handkerchief. He used the small square of linen to wipe away the tears and smiled down at the other man.

“You are simply too good to be true, Harry Potter, and it scares them. You rid the world of the greatest of evils and all you want is to be left alone to have tea with the Weasley’s, go out to a pub with your best mate once in a while and play a pick-up game of Quidditch when you can.”

Draco moved and sat beside Harry on the sofa. He was quite surprised when the smaller man seemed to lean into him.

“But what’s wrong with that? I’m not hurting anyone.” Draco could see that the exhaustion was getting the better of poor Harry. He could see that he didn’t need a sleeping potion, just a place to relax where he felt safe and not so alone, and apparently the office in Draco’s shop had been appointed such a place.

Harry still had a hold of Draco’s hand and didn’t seem intent on letting go any time soon. “There’s nothing wrong with it, Harry, nothing at all. It’s just that most people who could ask for the world wouldn’t hesitate to do so.”

Draco smiled as Harry let his head loll to the side and come to rest on his shoulder and mumbled. “Don’t want the world. Just to be normal.”

He chuckled. “Harry, you couldn’t be normal if you tried.” He felt the body next to him start to tense up again and he reached up to card the fingers of his free hand through the silky dark hair. “It’s a good thing Potter, trust me.”

The other man started to relax at the touch so Draco kept it up. Harry mumbled again. “Just so tired.” 

He started slipping down and Draco just maneuvered him until he had Harry’s head in his lap and the rest of him curled up on the couch. “Then just go to sleep, you silly man. We’ll talk some more when you wake up.” He kept petting him, smiling as the ‘boy who saved the world’ snuggled up and fell asleep on Draco Malfoy’s knee. 

As he looked down at Harry, he was struck at how small the other man was. It was like the line from the muggle movie he’d seen where everyone kept telling the hero that they thought he’d be taller. It seemed odd that the man who’d saved both the wizarding and muggle worlds would be almost a head smaller than Draco.

But then again, it wasn’t what was on the outside that made Harry so special. It was the heart that Draco hadn’t been able to figure out was there until after the war was over.

When he was sure Harry was asleep, he slid out from under him and put one of the throw pillows under his head. He grabbed the cozy blanket from the back of the couch and covered him. It could be chilly in the office in the fall. 

Once he was satisfied, he lit a fire in the fireplace and dimmed the lights and then walked back out to the front of the shop and locked it up for the night. It was almost time to close anyway and he didn’t want Harry disturbed.

When he walked back into the office, he walked over to his desk and sat down. He sat watching Harry sleep and shook his head.

Harry Potter. He’d started out in the wizard world as ‘the boy who lived’ and ended up as ‘the man they wanted to forget’. 

He’d sacrificed almost everything to help them and then asked nothing more than to try and have some sort of a life, but Draco knew it had been impossible.

There were those who wanted his attention, those who tried to curry his favor in hopes of getting something for themselves.

And there were those who suspected everything he did, simply because he hadn’t demanded that they worship him. He had very few friends outside of Hermione and the Weasley’s. Luna Lovegood and Neville Longbottom seemed to be the only ones who just wanted to spend time with him.

Everyone else wanted to drag Potter to some stupid charity function or another to get him to beg for donations or some other ridiculous garbage. 

Draco knew that Granger and Weasley loved their best friend, but they were so wrapped up in each other that they’d failed to see that Harry had been slipping away slowly but surely. Now with the new baby to take care of, Harry had totally slipped through the cracks.

He didn’t work. No one but the Auror’s wanted him and he’d declared that he’d done enough fighting in seven years to last a lifetime. No other reputable employer could hire him, as the hoopla that seemed to follow him made doing business impossible.

Draco sighed. Harry looked so young and innocent in his sleep. He supposed he was really. He’d never had a chance to properly grow up; he’d just been shoved through it and made to cope.

He’d been surprised when Ginny Weasley had announced her engagement to some American wizard. He’d been positive that she and Harry would be together forever.

But from what Draco had seen Harry had been the happiest for her. 

And yes, Draco had seen a lot, because he watched Harry all the time. 

Without Snape there to egg the animosity on, and with both his parents being grateful to Harry for saving Draco and for testifying for them at their trial, it had been relatively easy for Draco to let go of the hurt and anger and see the real Harry.

What Draco had perceived as smugness and arrogance was really shyness. He finally believed him when Harry said that he didn’t want or need the attention. He wished he had before.

So he watched as Harry retreated into himself. Some people loved Harry, or the idea of him, anyhow; but they weren’t really interested in getting to know him.

Those who’d even thought about supporting Voldemort during the war were terrified of him. They just couldn’t seem to understand that Harry wasn’t interested in making them miserable or that he wasn’t behind the Ministry’s crack down on former Death Eaters.

Those on the other side either seemed overly awed by his presence or like he’d told Harry, they resented him for being a boy and saving them when they couldn’t do it themselves. It’s amazing how people’s perspective changed when their lives weren’t in constant danger.

And Draco had come to a few conclusions about himself in the three years since the end of the war as well.

First, Draco had decided that he wanted nothing to do with the family business or anything to do with finances. To be honest, it bored the hell out of him and he’d come to realize that money and power had been the root of most of the evil he’d seen and what had almost led his father to his demise.

The second thing was the he was bloody good at potions and it was something he could make a living with. So, after apprenticing for a year with a rather mediocre potions master, Draco took his equivalency test and became a master himself. He used the small inheritance he’d gotten from his godfather (Snape had been rather fond of him) to buy this small shop and he’d been making a name for himself in the wizarding world. 

The third thing Draco learned was that making a living for himself without the help of anyone else was quite satisfying and he wouldn’t change that part of his life for anything. 

The last major thing that he’d learned about himself was that he was gay. It wasn’t a big shock really. He’d never really paid that much attention to girls (not that he’d had time with the end of the world coming) and he’d paid rather too much attention to his team mates in the Quidditch locker rooms.

Being a gay wizard didn’t have quite the stigma attached to it that being a gay muggle did. Wizards were much more civilized about sexual orientation, and Draco suspected that because wizards tended to live a lot longer than muggles, hiding away your true self really didn’t make a lot of sense.

So yes, Draco had found out a lot of things about himself since the war and most of it made him feel rather good about himself.

Potter on the other hand? Well, he learned things too. Mostly that a world without a Voldemort didn’t need a ‘boy who lived’.

Draco knew that Harry spent most of his time alone. He went to Ron and Hermione’s twice a month for dinner and most likely pretended everything was lovely. It probably never occurred to him to burden his dearest friends with his loneliness.

Draco knew he went out for a drink once in a while to the Leaky Cauldron, but those visits with either Neville or Luna were getting farther and farther between. They usually ended badly, with some drunken idiot babbling on about what a hero Harry was or alternatively, wanting to kick his arse.

He wasn’t spying on Harry exactly, but fate did seem to bring them to the same place at the same time a lot. And Luna often frequented his shop, fetching potions for her father. She talked to Draco like they were old friends and had a tendency to let her worry for Harry slip out in his presence.

He looked over as the man on the couch started muttering in his sleep. Harry was reaching out and whimpering and Draco stood up and walked over to crouch down beside the couch so he could hear him.

“Please…don’t go…” The pain and anguish in Harry’s voice was heartbreaking and Draco couldn’t help but reach up and take the outstretched hand.

“Shhh, it’s alright, Harry.” Harry gripped Draco’s hand in a death grip. 

“No…I don’t want to…let me stay.” His voice was nothing but a whisper but the despair in it was devastating. 

Draco reached up to pet Harry’s head, trying to offer him whatever comfort he could. “Harry, come on, wake up.”

The man was so tired, but Draco just couldn’t leave him to suffer inside his own head. Harry jolted a little but then seemed to wake up slowly.

“Draco?” He tried to push himself up but the hand on his head just pushed him back down.

“Just relax Harry. You were having a nightmare.” He just continued the soothing touches and noticed that Harry hadn’t let go of his hand yet.

The other man lay there, looking ashamed before speaking.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to disturb you.”

Draco sighed and then stood up. He urged Harry to sit up and then sat beside him on the couch. He took Harry’s hand in both of his and looked at him searchingly for a moment before speaking.

“Look, Harry, I know things have been tough for you lately but before we go any further with this conversation, I want to tell you something.”

The smaller man nodded, biting his lower lip, distracting Draco for a second. 

“You aren’t bothering me and I’m not mad at you. Honestly I’d just like to be your friend, okay?”

Harry just looked confused. “Why?”

Draco answered him honestly. “Because you need one and because I know what that’s like.” He closed his eyes for a moment and then opened them to meet Harry’s. “I often wonder if things would have been different if you had accepted my hand that day.”

Harry flinched and Draco hurried to reassure him. “Don’t worry, I understand why you didn’t now, and I don’t blame you.” He stroked Harry’s hand and smiled at him. “I wonder if you would have straightened me out or if I would have corrupted you, but I think things turned out the way they were supposed to so that you could do what needed to be done to defeat Voldemort.”

Harry just looked at him, his expression unreadable.

“So yes, I want to be your friend. I want to make you take care of yourself, and listen when you feel like talking and just be there quietly, keeping you company when you don’t.”

He could feel Harry trembling next to him and tried to find the words to express what he wanted to say.

“You deserve better Harry. You’ve dealt with so much crap in your life and you’ve lost so much.” He felt bad for the tears that were starting to well up in those soulful eyes, but he wanted the other man to know that he understood.

“You need people in your life who see _you,_ Harry. Not the hero, not the villain…just you.” Draco looked down at their fingers tangled together and continued. “I almost lost everything too…and it was entirely my fault. But you? Nothing was your fault. Your destiny was thrust upon you and no one asked you what you wanted.”

Harry relaxed more into Draco’s side. “I’m so tired Draco. I shouldn’t be so tired, should I?”

Draco took the chance and put his arm around Harry’s shoulder, pulling him more firmly against his side. “You’re tired because you’re so busy trying to be what everyone expects of you that you don’t think of yourself. You’re never selfish.” Draco made himself relax and lean back into the couch, hoping to encourage the other man to do the same. “It’s your turn to be selfish, Harry. Trust me; I’m the expert on the subject.”

He counted it as a small victory that Harry snorted a little at that comment. “No need to agree so readily, Potter.” He was smiling as he said it and when he turned his head he could see the answering smile on Harry’s face.

“I’m trying hard to argue with people less…especially you.” 

It was Draco’s turn to chuckle with amusement. “Because you’ve been so busy fighting for your rights? I don’t think so Harry.” 

Harry regarded him for a moment. “I like it when you say my name…it’s like you’re happy to talk to me without wanting my help for anything.”

Draco smiled softly at him. “You’ve helped me more than anyone ever has already Harry. It’s my turn to do something for you.”

The dark-haired man smiled sleepily at him and Draco took it as a cue to slip off the couch and offer his hand to his new friend. “Come on, let’s get you home.”

Harry took the hand and stood, but had paled at the thought of going back to his house. “I don’t…” He bit his lips and looked at his shoes and Draco was confused for a second.

“You don’t what?” He stood there, holding Harry’s hand, not pushing, just waiting for the answer. Harry blushed and then stammered. “N…no, it’s nothing. I’ll just walk home.”

“Why would you walk all that way when I’ve got perfectly good floo right here?” Draco felt like his was missing something important.

Harry tried to pull away and Draco was mystified. “I don’t…I just…I need the exercise. I’ll be fine, don’t worry.” He was clearly embarrassed and just as clearly reluctant to go home and he obviously didn’t want to have to tell Draco about it.

“Harry, do you not want to go home?” He knew that the other wizard was living at Grimmauld Place and when he thought about it, he couldn’t really blame him if he didn’t. The Black family home had never been a very cozy house to live in.

Harry looked up into his eyes and Draco waited. “It’s dark there…and lonely. When I’m there I think about Sirius and how I wanted to go and live there with him and I never had the chance.” 

He tried to pull away again but Draco didn’t let go. He tugged Harry closer and moved them to the floo. “Come on then, sleepover at my place it is then.”

Harry looked up at him sharply in surprise and Draco sighed. “Your virtue is perfectly safe with me, I promise.” The other man blushed again and Draco rather liked it. “Unless, of course, you want me to say otherwise.” He raised an eyebrow at him and waited for what he would say.

“I don’t have anything with me…pajama’s and such.” Oooh, so, Mr. Potter wanted to be convinced, did he? Well, Draco could work with that.

“I happen to have an extra pair of pj’s and a spare toothbrush…unless you’d like to sleep in your underwear?” 

“Nn...no, but you don’t have to Draco. I’ll be fine…at home.” 

Draco turned to Harry and framed his face with his hands, forcing him to look him in the eye. “If you were going to be fine at home, you’d be fine now…and you’re not. You don’t sleep and from the looks of you, eating isn’t the first thing on your agenda either.” 

He deliberately looked down the lean lines of the other man’s body and then back into his face. “Now, I’m inviting you to my house. Mother is out of the country with Aunt Andromeda and Teddy and I have a very comfortable guest room that I think you’d enjoy. We can have some cocoa and I’ll get you something to eat and we’ll sit in front of the fire and talk if you like.”

He smiled gently and rubbed his thumbs over Harry’s cheekbones. He knew he shouldn’t be taking such liberties with him, but as the other man had yet to really object to the touching, he let it happen. He didn’t think that Harry was touched enough.

“And then what?” Harry sounded breathless and Draco was trying to figure out the answer he was expecting.

“And then we’ll see what happens from there.” He stood, holding his breath without meaning to, waiting for Harry’s answer.

“Is this because you feel sorry for me…because I don’t want your pity…” His voice hitched and his small frame shook. “I don’t think I could take it from you.”

He sounded so broken and Draco just wanted to gather him into his arms and protect him from the world. 

“No, Harry, I don’t pity you. I just understand you better than most I think.” He curled one hand around Potter’s neck, under his hair and rubbed at tension there. “Just trust me, okay? I want to help you because I can, that’s all. I give you my word.”

Harry took a deep breath and searched Draco’s eyes. He must have found what he was looking for because he nodded and wrapped his arm around Draco’s slim waist.

Draco pulled him close and grabbed a handful of floo powder. He tossed it in the fire and yelled “Malfoy Manor” as he stepped in. He kept a tight hold on Harry, making sure he didn’t stumble when they stepped into the sitting room that belonged to Draco.

He found himself reluctant to let Harry go after they landed but knew he had to so that he could do the other things he’d promised. He grabbed him by the hand and pulled him toward the guest room. 

“Here’s the guest room, as promised. Wait here for a moment.” He pulled away and walked quickly to his room. He gathered the pajama pants and t-shirt head promised and went back to the other room. 

Harry was still standing where he’d left him and he handed him the clothing and pushed him toward the bathroom that adjoined the room.

“All right, off you go. Have a shower and get changed. I’m going to change myself and arrange for the house elves to bring us some cocoa and some soup. When you’re done, I’ll be waiting for you in the room we came in at.” 

Harry nodded at him and turned to walk away. He stopped and looked back for a moment before whispering quietly. “Thank you Draco.” He turned again and slipped into the bathroom without waiting for an answer.

Draco smiled to himself and made sure the floor warming charms were working and then hurried to change and speak to the elves. By the time Harry came shuffling shyly out of the guest room, Draco had the fire burning merrily and steaming bowls of soup with slabs of warm buttered bread on the table in front of the couch.

He patted the sofa beside him. “Come and sit down Potter. I promise not to bite…unless you want me to.” He leered at the other man a little, making him blush, but he did come and sit beside Draco on the couch.

He took the soup Draco offered him and they ate in silence. Draco was gratified to see that he ate most of the soup and a good portion of the bread as well. When they were finished, Whimsy appeared to take away their dishes and then she brought them big cups of cocoa. She smiled at her master and bid them both good night before disappearing for the evening.

Draco turned so that he was facing Harry, one foot curled under his arse and Harry mirrored the position so that their knees were touching. He saw the other man shiver even though the room was warm so he summoned a blanket from his bedroom and wrapped it around Harry, one side of his mouth quirking up at how adorable he looked.

“Now Potter, what would you like to talk about?” Draco waited, knowing that Harry would need to gather his courage to speak.

“Could you…I mean, can you call me Harry?” He looked down at his hands twined together in his lap. “When you call me Potter, it reminds me of…before.”

Draco smiled and reached down to lay his hand on Harry’s wrist. “I’m sorry, Harry, of course I can. I have to admit, I much prefer hearing Draco come out of your mouth than Malfoy.”

Harry smiled up at him from under his bangs but it faded quickly. “I know it’s none of my business, but are you gay?” He looked like he was waiting to be yelled at. “I mean, I know some say you are, but I don’t pay much attention to the tabloids. I know from experience that they aren’t a reliable source of information.”

“Yes, I’m gay. Does it bother you?” Draco didn’t think so, but he wanted to be sure.

Harry shook his head. “No, not at all.” He peered up at Draco again. “How did you know?”

Draco shrugged. “I don’t know. I didn’t really, until after the war. There wasn’t really time to worry about it, what with trying to stay alive and all.” 

The other man nodded but Draco suspected that there was more he wanted to ask so he hurried to reassure him. “When I had time to look, I realized that all the girls that my mates were drooling over weren’t doing much for me and that when I did look, it was at the blokes on the magazine covers.” 

He grinned at Harry. “And the first time I had sex with a man kind of made everything perfectly clear, if you know what I mean.” He nudged his knee against Harry’s a little and the other man blushed and shook his head.

“I don’t really…know what you mean.” Harry was pointedly looking anywhere but at Draco.

“You’ve never had sex with a man?” Draco was very curious now.

“I’ve never had sex with anyone…” Harry’s ears were so red that Draco was surprised that smoke wasn’t curling off them.

“But I thought you and Ginny…?” 

Harry shook his head. “That was over before it really began. I stayed away from her during the war because I was afraid that she’d get hurt. When it was over, we were mourning Fred and so much was going on that we sort of drifted apart.”

“I’m sorry, Harry.” And Draco was. The people he’d lost during the war had hurt, but the ones Harry had lost had been like family. The only family he’d had. Remus and Tonks, Sirius, Mad-Eye and of course Fred. It still made Draco flinch when he saw George walking in Diagon Alley. There was an air of something missing about him and he knew it was the man’s other half.

“We all lost people, Draco.” He closed his eyes and Draco knew he was remembering the horrible fire in the room of requirement. As far as he knew that room hadn’t shown itself to anyone in the last three years. He supposed Hogwarts castle was still healing too.

“Don’t worry, there’s a girl out there somewhere for you.” He smiled at the other man. “And being a virgin, well, that’s not so bad.”

“I don’t think it’s a girl I’m looking for.” Harry’s voice was quiet…so quiet that Draco barely heard him; but he did.

“That’s okay too. You’ll figure it out.” He still had his hand on Harry’s wrist and he squeezed it gently. Harry turned his hand over and slid it down until it was palm to palm with Draco’s, squeezing back before letting go.

“Thank you.” It seemed to be Harry’s favorite saying of the evening.

“You’re welcome.” Draco stood up and offered his hand to Harry. “I think it’s time you got some sleep.”

Harry nodded and stood up and took Draco’s hand. They abandoned the almost full cups of chocolate as Draco led Harry back to the guest room.

“Sleep as long as you like, and if you need me I’m just down the hall. Don’t be afraid to ask for anything, okay?”

“Okay.” Harry looked up at him for a moment and then threw his arms around Draco’s waist, hugging him tightly. Draco put his arms around Harry’s shoulders, holding him tightly for a moment and then pulling away gently.

“Get some sleep, Harry. The shop’s closed tomorrow and we’ll just hang out and do whatever you want, I promise.”

Harry nodded and walked into the guest room reluctantly. When he disappeared into the bathroom, Draco went to his room to finish getting ready for bed.

He wasn’t all that tired though, so once he’d finished his preparations he went back out to the sitting room with a book and sat down to read for a while. He’d only been at it for about an hour when he became aware of noises coming from down the hall in the guest room.

He got up to investigate and walked down to peek in the slightly open door. To his dismay he saw Harry curled up on the bed, covers kicked off to the floor and shivering, in fear or in cold, Draco wasn’t sure.

He was moaning painfully and Draco could make out the occasional word, mostly just “no” or “please don’t” and the pleading tone in them made Draco’s heart clench. 

He walked over to the bed and sat down carefully on the edge, not wanting to scare Harry any more than he was. He gently touched Harry’s arm, hoping to wake him.

Draco was startled when Harry shot up in the bed, cowering as close to the headboard as he could, a terrified whine pulled from his throat.

“Shh, it’s just me, Harry.” Draco sat still, not wanting the smaller man to feel any more threatened than he already did. “I guess you suffer from nightmares, huh?” He kept talking, letting Harry hear his voice and finish waking up.

“I have them too sometimes. When he was staying here, the things he did were truly horrific. He used to make us watch and I hated every second of it.” Draco closed his eyes against the memories trying to flit through his brain.

When he opened them again Harry had stopped trembling and he seemed to be fully awake. He was still crouched by the top of the bed though and Draco could see embarrassment filtering through and that just wouldn’t do.

“Harry, after all we’ve seen, aren’t we entitled to a few nightmares? Do you think less of me for having them?”

Harry shook his head and relaxed a little more. Then he started to speak. “I keep seeing them…Fred…Tonks…my parents. All gone, because of me.” Tears had started crawling down his face and he didn’t seem capable of stopping them. “Teddy has no parents and every time I see him, all I can think is that I did that to him!”

Draco had never heard such despair from anyone who wasn’t being tortured before. But then again, isn’t that what Harry was doing? Torturing himself with guilt and solitude?

He couldn’t take it anymore and reached out his arms, surprising himself and Harry, before the other man scooted closer and let Draco gather him up in his arms. He pulled him right into his lap, tucking him up close to his chest.

Harry’s arms snaked around Draco’s chest and he tucked his head under Draco’s chin, his face pressed in to his throat. 

Draco could feel the hot tears on his skin as he threaded his fingers into Harry’s messy hair, rocking him gently and trying to sooth him. It was amazing how the smaller man seemed to fit so perfectly against him and it was getting harder for Draco to remember that Harry didn’t belong to him.

When the sobbing had calmed a little Draco started speaking.

“There were a lot of people responsible for all the deaths that occurred, Harry, but you aren’t one of them.” He kept petting the silky soft hairs at the base of Harry’s neck, smiling when the other man tilted his head forward a little to let him. “The only thing you did was try to save people…all the people, including little gits like me.”

He could feel Harry smile against his throat and that made him happy. “You need to stop beating yourself up, love. There are enough idiots out there willing to do it for you, so give yourself a break.”

The body in his arms relaxed by degrees, and the feeling of Harry soft and pliant in his lap was like a millions dreams come true. He sighed and grappled to get control of himself. Harry needed a friend and Draco was determined to be that. 

“Think you can go back to sleep now?” He waited for his answer for a few minutes before realizing that Harry was sound asleep in his arms, clinging to him like a vine. He tried to pull away and lay him back on the bed, but as soon as he did, Harry started to whimper and clung harder.

Draco sighed and resigned himself to the inevitable. He slid up to the head of the bed, bringing Harry with him. He leaned back against the pillows and summoned the blankets from the floor to cover them with. Harry was not making this easy on him.

Draco knew that his feelings for Harry were more than just friendly. It had taken him a long time to admit to himself that part of his obsession with the other man in school had been about being attracted to him. A part of Draco had always hoped and prayed that Harry would win and save him from a life he was terrified to be a part of. 

But like the others, he’d resented him for it for a long time. No one likes to feel like their future wasn’t in their own hands and Draco was no exception. If only he’d realized sooner that Harry hadn’t had any more choice than he did. If only everyone else would figure that out too.

He decided to enjoy this time with Harry, because Merlin only knew how long it would last.

Sliding down further into the bed, he let himself relax. Harry was asleep on top of him and maybe it should have been more uncomfortable than it was, but the man was entirely too skinny for his already slight frame. As a result, the weight and warmth of him was comforting and Draco found himself drifting off surround by the feel and smell that was Harry Potter.


	2. Finding Purpose Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been three years since their 8th and final year at Hogwarts. Harry is trying and failing to find a place in a Voldemort free world and Draco thinks it's time he did something to repay Harry for saving him and everyone else. If it make Draco happy as well, all the better

When he awoke the next morning he was surprised to find he’d slept through the night. Harry was still sound asleep next to him. They’d moved in their sleep, however, and he was curled around the smaller man, his back to Draco’s front, legs tangled together. Harry had his head pillowed on one of Draco’s arms while the other was wrapped firmly around Harry’s trim waist, holding him tightly.

Both of Harry’s hands were gripping Draco’s arm, like he was hanging on for dear life, and he protested sleepily when Draco tried to move. He was absolutely adorable.

He leaned over to whisper in Harry’s ear. “Sorry, Harry, but I need to get up. I need to go to the loo.” 

Harry whimpered and then moaned as he rolled over unthinkingly. When he opened his eyes and saw Draco looking at him, he tried to pull back, obviously embarrassed about clinging to the other man. Draco just held on, not letting him pull back too far. 

“It’s okay, I’m not complaining. I just really need to go to the bathroom.” He moved his hand to stroke down Harry’s arm. “Just stay here, go back to sleep if you want. I won’t go far.”

Harry just looked up at him with those big green eyes for a moment before nodding. “Okay.” He looked down at Draco’s hand on his arm and took a deep breath before looking up again and whispering. “Will you come back?”

Draco leaned in and kissed him on the forehead before pulling back. “Yes, I promise.” 

Harry nodded again and relaxed back into the pillows. He watched as Draco got off the bed and walked to the bathroom and Draco could feel his eyes on him the whole way.

He relieved himself and washed his hands, then ran his fingers through his hair, trying to tame it a little. When he left the washroom, he could see that Harry had curled back up under the covers facing the bathroom door and Draco knew that as exhausted as the other man was, he wouldn’t go back to sleep alone.

He crossed the room again and slid back under the covers, lying on his side to face Harry. He reached out and smoothed the hair back out of Harry’s eyes, his eyes going automatically to the scar there. He traced it with his finger gently.

“Does it ever hurt anymore?” He hadn’t meant to ask, but he couldn’t help it.

Harry shook his head. “No, not really. It aches sometimes, but I think it’s almost a leftover memory, not a real pain.”

Draco nodded absently, brushing over the skin there before sliding his fingers down to Harry’s cheek. He smiled when Harry’s hand came up to hold it there. He was pretty sure that Harry had acted without thinking.

“Can you go back to sleep? I think you might need it.”

Harry rubbed his cheek against Draco’s palm. “I don’t know.”

“Would it help if I stayed?” He knew that once they had settled in, Harry hadn’t woken till morning.

“You don’t have to…” Harry broke off, but Draco knew what he’d been about to say.

“I know I don’t, but I want to if it helps. How can you ever expect to feel any better if you don’t sleep?” He turned his hand over to take Harry’s, squeezing gently and then letting them fall together to the bed. “And besides, it’s not like it’s a hardship to snuggle up in bed with a handsome man.”

Harry looked around. “Oh? Is there someone else here?”

Draco grinned at the attempt at humor, even if it was self-depreciating. “Nope, just you and me, handsome.”

Harry’s blush was endearing. He didn’t say anything for a moment or two, so Draco just waited. “I think I will try and sleep. If you’ll stay until I am?”

He looked so hopeful and Draco had to resist the urge to gather him up again. “I promise.” It was the second one he’d made that morning but he found he didn’t mind much.

Harry looked into his eyes, dark lashed fluttering against his cheeks until they slid closed and sleep took him once more.

Of course, just as he’d talked himself into getting up, Harry moved in his sleep, wriggling himself closer until his forehead rested against Draco’s collarbone, his warm breath fanning over Draco’s chest. 

He curled up as small as he could, like he was trying to hide from something and he looked so vulnerable that it made Draco’s heart ache. He gave in to his impulse and carefully pulled Harry into his arms. The other man stiffened but then seemed to recognize who was holding him. He melted against Draco, getting as close as he could and falling back into a deep sleep.

He wondered how long it had been since Harry had fallen asleep feeling safe and secure and taken care of. Had he ever? It had been a long time for Draco, but he’d felt that way as a child. He’d fallen asleep most night knowing his parents loved him and would protect him and take care of him. It wasn’t until he was older that he’d understood that they couldn’t save him from everything.

Harry didn’t have that. He’d been abused and mistreated from the time he could remember through no fault of his own and while he understood why it had to be that way, there was a part of him that still resented Dumbledore and McGonagall for not making sure that Harry was better taken care of. 

Draco sighed, rubbing his hand gently down Harry’s back, feeling frustrated with himself for wishing that his fingers were trailing over bare skin at the moment. He had no right to be projecting his feelings of attraction onto the other man when he was so vulnerable. For all he knew, Harry would be clinging to anyone who offered him kindness at that moment.

All he could do for now was to be the person Harry could turn to. Everyone had turned to Harry when they were in danger and then turned away when they weren’t. Draco was going to change that.

He drifted off back to sleep, warm and comfortable with Harry draped across him, happy just to be here snuggling with the man he admired and was quickly coming to adore.

                                                                   ~~~*~~~

When his eyes fluttered open a few hours later he found himself gazing into a sea of green. Those eyes were full of wonder and confusion but were definitely a whole lot brighter than they’d been the day before.

Draco felt the backs of Harry’s trembling fingers brush softly over his cheek and jaw.

“You’re really here?” Harry’s voice was rough and quiet, but full of hope.

Draco smiled at him teasingly. “Actually, you’re really here.” He chuckled when Harry’s eyes widened in surprise. “This is my house, remember?”

He really didn’t think he’d ever get tired of watching Harry blush. “Oh yeah; I kind of forgot.” He pulled his hand back in embarrassment but Draco caught it and held it. 

“It’s okay, I don’t mind. You can touch me.” Draco was right about Harry being touch starved.  

“Your skin is softer than I thought it would be.” Harry ducked his head to look at their hands. “I like it.”

“Well then, looks like my beauty regime paid off then, doesn’t it?” He grinned when Harry lifted his head, startled into looking to see if Draco was teasing.

“Must come from your superior family genes I suppose.” Harry had a very serious look on his face…for about three seconds. Then he started to laugh and it was the best thing Draco had heard in a long time.

“So, you do know how to laugh still. Good to know.” There was that blush again. Draco was sure he was becoming addicted to it.

“Yeah, although I was starting to wonder about that myself.” Harry’s smile faded as he remembered why he was at Draco’s in the first place.

“Hey, none of that now.” Draco reached up to run a careful finger over Harry’s bottom lip. “You’re allowed to smile and be happy.”

“I know, I just think I’ve forgotten how.” 

Draco leaned and kissed him on the forehead before pulling back to look him in the eye. “I know you have…but we’re going to work on that today.” He looked at the window, seeing the bright sunlight shining through the gap in the curtain and smiled.

“Come on, let’s go and have some breakfast in the garden. It looks like a beautiful day out there.” He started to push the covers off, but Harry held onto them with a panicked look on his face.

“NO…no, I think I’ll just stay here for a while. I…I’m still tired.” His face was even redder than before and it didn’t take too long for Draco to figure out what was going on. Smirking, he rolled out from under the covers and stretched, not even trying to hide his own aroused state.  He saw Harry’s eyes widen comically as he turned to head to the bathroom.

“Nonsense! It’s time you got on a proper schedule again.” He went into the bathroom, closing the door most of the way but leaving a gap. “I’m going to shower first and then you can while the house elves fix breakfast.” 

He pulled his shirt off and wandered back to the bedroom to grab some clean underwear from the pile he’d brought Harry the night before. “Time to get back at it Harry.” The other man was lying on his stomach, watching every move Draco made and as he passed, Draco gave Harry’s ass a hard smack, grinning at the yelp it elicited. 

“I’ll be done in a moment, then it’s your turn, got it?” He turned back to raise his eyebrow at the man currently glowering at him from his bed. Merlin, it was a sight to see.

Harry continued to frown for a moment before nodding.

“Good!” Draco slammed the door shut, smiling to himself when it popped back open again, like he knew it would. Damn thing just didn’t like being slammed.

He pushed his pants and underwear off and walked to the shower, almost positive that Harry could see him through the gap between the door and the jamb…if he was looking. Turning the water on, he waited until it was warm enough and stepped in under the spray.

The water felt so good against his skin, it made him groan with pleasure. A cleansing charm never felt this good. He grabbed the sandalwood scented shampoo and took his time washing his hair. The bubbles slipping down his skin felt like a lover’s touch and he let himself just feel.

He ran his fingers down his chest, moaning again as he brushed over his nipples. They were always so sensitive and when he was turned on it was even worse. He let his hand drift lower until it brushed the head of his cock. He hissed at the feeling, as he was so hard he almost ached. 

Wrapping one soapy hand around himself, he stroked firmly from base to tip, running his thumb over the slit before making his way back down. He kept the pace slow, determined to take his time and enjoy it. Spending the night in bed with Harry had certainly made things…hard.

All of the sudden he had the feeling he was being watched and he knew Harry was peeking through the gap at the door. Well, might as well give him something to look at.

As he stroked with one hand, he used the other to tease his nipples into hard peaks. He groaned loudly as he played with them, wanting Harry to know how good it felt.

When he couldn’t stand the touch to his nipples any more, his slid his hand down, letting his fingers circle his navel and letting his hips fuck into his fist. Fuck, this wasn’t going to take long. 

Reaching further down, he rolled his balls in his hand, making his hips stutter. He remembered what it felt like to hold Harry next to him and he imagined what it would feel like to cuddle up next to him after making love. He could see in his mind’s eye what Harry would look like, hair all mussed up, lips kiss swollen and slick. He knew he was being loud, but he didn’t care. The image in his mind was overwhelming him and he could feel the heat and pressure beginning to creep up his spine.

“Oh God…fuck!” He slicked his hand up and down faster and faster, rolling his hand over the head with every stroke. When the orgasm finally hit him, his back arched and his head and shoulders leaned back against the tile, pushing his cock hard into this fist. He gave little uh, uh, uh sounds with every thrust and if he would have been capable of thought at that moment, he would have been proud of the show he was sure he was giving Harry.

When the last spasm passed and he could breathe again, he stood on wobbly legs and finished rinsing himself off. Merlin it felt good to start the day with a good wank.

Once he was finished, he stepped out of the shower and dried himself off languidly and then slipped into the silk boxers he’d grabbed from the dresser. He quickly brushed his teeth and combed his hair. He didn’t slick it back any more like he used to in school, preferring to leave it to dry naturally, leaving is tousled and soft.

Draco walked toward the door slowly, making sure to give Harry enough time to jump back into bed and hide. He was sure that embarrassing the man wouldn’t do much to help restore his confidence.

When he walked into the bedroom, Harry was under the covers with his back to the bathroom. “Alright then, get your arse dressed and make use of that spare toothbrush in there. I’m going to speak to the elves about breakfast.” He paused on his way to the bedroom door and turned back. “You’ve got 20 minutes Harry, better make use of it. If you aren’t ready by then, I’ll be back to get you, understand?”

He tempered his words with a smile and waited for Harry’s nod of agreement before sweeping from the room. 

He was happily surprised when Harry showed up in the sitting room almost exactly on time, still wearing Draco’s clothes and looking a little flushed. It was hard to keep the smirk off his face, but somehow he managed.

“Come on, we’re eating out here.” He grabbed Harry’s hand and pulled him along to the garden door. He smiled as he opened it and ushered the other man through because he knew that his own little private garden was a beautiful sight.

Sure enough, Harry smiled shyly as he looked around in awe at the bright colors. Draco had planned this area specifically to draw butterflies and sure enough, there were dozen’s fluttering around adding to the magical feel of the space.

“Draco, this is really amazing!” Harry stood there, still holding Draco’s hand with the biggest smile Draco had seen on his face in a while. This was good.

“I’m glad you think so. I spend a lot of time out here, even in the winter.” He pulled Harry toward the table set in the middle of the patio. “It’s different out here then, but still beautiful in its own way.”

Draco settled him on one of the chairs before seating himself. He removed the charmed warming covers from their plate, eyeing the scrambled eggs and bacon with relish. There was another covered dish in the center and he smiled with pleasure when he lifted it to find an assortment of fresh cut fruit.

“Hmm, Winky outdid herself this time. This fruit looks delicious.” He dished some up for Harry and then helped himself. It was hard to not feel smug when Harry started eating the fruit first.

“Merlin, Draco, this stuff is delicious!” Draco was momentarily distracted by the strawberry juice that was dripping down Harry’s chin. It was taking everything he had to stay in his seat and not get up to lick it off. He shook himself out of his fantasy.

“Yeah, it’s all grown here in various parts of the garden.” He took a bite of his eggs before going on. “You know, your friend Granger had something there with that house elf business. Ever since we let them have free reign around here, this place is a much happier house to live in.”

“Really?” Harry sounded shocked, although Draco wasn’t sure if it was the compliment to Hermione or the fact that the Malfoys had learned something.

“Yeah. Winky loves to garden as well as cook. Since we left the orchards in her care, everything is growing far better than they ever did under the force of magic.”

He looked up when he heard Harry start to chuckle. “What, you didn’t think we Malfoys were capable of admitting someone else might be right?” He made sure to smile so that Harry knew he was only teasing.

“Well, I will admit to being surprised that you managed to admit that Hermione was right about something. I never thought I’d see that happen.”  Those green glass eyes were flashing with mischief and it warmed Draco’s heart considerably.

He noticed that Harry’s plate was almost empty and offered him more fruit. He almost groaned out loud when the other man dished up more strawberries. 

They chatted more as they ate, arguing about Quidditch and which team was going to win the Cup. They talked about Draco and what made him decide to be a Potions Master. Harry seemed impressed by Draco’s assertion that he needed to do something to help people and that would be helping himself at the same time.

When Harry grew quiet, Draco look at him and smiled. “So Harry, what do you think you’d like to do? What makes your heart beat faster and gets your blood pumping?”

The blush that had been missing returned instantaneously and Draco almost laughed out loud. “I’m not asking about your sexual fantasies, although I’d be up for listening about them too!” He waggled his eyebrows suggestively, getting the giggle he was going for. “I just mean is there a job you want? Someplace you’d like to travel? Anything at all that interests you?”

He waited patiently, something he seemed to be doing more and more around Harry. He had a feeling it was going to be worth it though.

“You’re going to think it’s silly.” Harry looked down into the coffee he’d been drinking and sighed. Draco reached over and placed his hand on Harry’s arm, getting his attention.

“I promise I won’t. Just trust me, okay?” He made sure to look the other man steadily in the eye and let him see that he was telling the truth.

Harry took a deep breath. “I think I should…I mean…that is…” he stuttered for a minute before getting control of himself. “I want to be a writer.”

Draco grinned at him. “Really? What kind?”

“Children’s books I think.” Now that he’d said it and Draco hadn’t laughed, Harry seemed much easier about speaking. “I used to make up stories for myself, when I was locked in the cupboard. Something to pass the time, I guess.”

He frowned at the memory and Draco ached for the lost boy he must have been. “Go on, tell me more, love.”

Harry looked at him uncertainly but continued. “Of course, after I found out I was a wizard; they took on a whole different life of their own. But I used them to cope, you know? And I think maybe…I could write something that might help other kids, wizard and muggle, that have been abused or neglected.” He was still blushing, but there was a hopeful little smile on his face as well.

“And I could use a pen name and no one would know it was me.” He looked up at Draco. “I really don’t want to be famous you know, no matter how it used to seem.”

Draco felt guilty at that. “I’m sorry Harry. I know now that I should never have thought that. Will you forgive me?”

The other man seemed to consider it for a moment and then nodded. “Yeah, I think I can do that…if you can forgive me.”

Draco was shocked. “What in Merlin’s name for?” He was truly lost as to what Harry could need forgiveness for.

“That day in the bathroom, when you were crying; I truly didn’t know what that curse did.” He looked close to tears and Draco couldn’t stand it. He got up and walked over to crouch by Harry’s knee and set his hand on it.

“I forgave you that a long time ago Harry. Snape told me that you had no idea what it was and how it was his fault for its existence in the first place. I pushed you into it because I was scared and embarrassed, so please; let’s just let it go, okay?” He looked up into those glittering green eyes pleadingly and was relieved when Harry nodded. “Okay.”

And because they both needed it, he put one hand on Harry’s neck and pulled him into a hug. They clung to each other in forgiveness for a while and then pulled back, both smiling sheepishly.

Draco pushed himself up and offered Harry his hand. “Would you like to take a walk around the garden while you tell me about these marvellous books you’re going to write?”

Harry blinked up at him and then took Draco’s hand. “I’d love to.” 

When he was standing, Draco let go of his hand, smirking at the other man’s pout of disappointment and then wound his arm through Harry’s and led him down the path to the other parts of the garden. He listened to Harry chat, smiling at the animation in his face and loving how he seemed to press himself as close to Draco as possible. 

Draco was starting to think that maybe his other dream about Harry wasn’t as far-fetched as he thought. How does one go about wooing a Potter?  
  



	3. Finding Purpose Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been three years since their 8th and final year at Hogwarts. Harry is trying and failing to find a place in a Voldemort free world and Draco thinks it's time he did something to repay Harry for saving him and everyone else. If it make Draco happy as well, all the better.

Draco spent the next few hours wandering around the garden with Harry, pointing out interesting plants he thought would tickle the other man’s fancy. He even took him to his special greenhouse where he grew many of the ingredients that he used in his potions. Draco was pretty sure that Harry had no idea that the house elves were watching in awe as the door was discreetly unlocked and the smaller man was ushered in. No one was ever allowed in the greenhouse, not even Draco’s mother!

When Harry seemed to be starting to tire, Draco suggested that they retire to the library for a while. He tucked him into the corner of a comfortable couch in front of the fire with a Muggle classic to read and a cup of tea while Draco sat at the at the other end and read up on some potions. 

It didn’t take long for Harry to fall asleep. Draco reached over and gently pulled off his glasses and set them and the book on the table beside the couch. He pulled up the quilt he’d covered Harry with and then brushed the hair from his eyes. God he was beautiful.

Draco sighed and went to his desk. He wrote a quick note to Hermione explaining what had happened and letting her know that Harry was going to be okay. Luckily, he and Granger…Weasley now he supposed…had gotten to know each other in the last year or so. 

She’s working as a Medi-wizard at St. Mungo’s now, specializing in helping people who’d been cursed during the war. Once she figured out that he was one of the best there was at potions, she often called on him to consult at the hospital. It hadn’t been easy, but they were friends now and he hoped it would help her trust him to look after Harry.

He sent the letter off with the family owl and then worked on some formulas while Harry napped. After the third time that he’d found himself getting up to comfort the other man through some unknown nightmare, he gave up and grabbed a novel and sat on the couch.

He maneuvered Harry’s feet onto his lap, making sure they stayed covered and snuck one hand under the blanket to hold on to Harry’s leg. He held his breath as the other man squirmed for a few seconds and then settled back to sleep. 

Time slipped away as he read and he wasn’t surprised when he looked up at the old clock in the corner to see that almost two hours have passed. He looked down at Harry to see him starting to stir so he waited patiently for him to finish waking.

It was fascinating to watch him as he went from confused and a little afraid to realizing where he was. Harry smiled and blushed as he turned his head and spotted Draco. The blush deepened as he realized where his feet were.

“Oh, I’m so sorry Draco. I didn’t mean…” Harry trailed off helplessly as Draco chuckled.

“It’s alright sweetheart. I’m the one who put them there. It was no bother at all.” He smiled at Harry gently. “In fact I quite enjoyed it.” He didn’t want to say too much or go too fast but he was getting more certain that he wasn’t the only one feeling the connection between them.

Harry just smiled shyly and picked at the quilt. He didn’t, however, endeavor to move his legs at all.

“So, now that you’ve rested, what would you like to do?”

Harry shrugged. “I don’t know. I feel like all I’ve done is fall asleep on you since I first saw you yesterday. Aren’t you bored of that yet?” He didn’t look up as he asked the question, too afraid of getting the answer he was dreading, Draco supposed.

Draco reached over, stretching out his long arm and catching Harry’s chin in his hand, forcing him to look up into his eyes. “I am most certainly not bored of you yet. What I am is happy to see you and so flattered that you feel safe enough with me to fall asleep and get the rest you need.”

He sighed and moved his hand to cup Harry’s cheek. “I haven’t really given you reason to trust me in the past, so I’m quite honored that you’re comfortable here. I hope you’ll continue to feel that way.” 

Harry leaned into the touch. “Me too.” 

Draco smiled at him and pulled back, noting the look of disappointment in Harry’s eyes when he did. “So, any ideas? I don’t mind doing anything you can think of.”

Harry thought for a minute and then looked up at him with hopeful eyes. “Do you think…I mean, it’s kind of stupid but…I’d like to go to the zoo.” 

“The zoo? I haven’t been there since I was a child. It was one of the few times I was allowed to spend time with Aunt Andromeda.”

Harry looked down at his fingers. “It’s okay if you think it’s too childish…”

Draco cut him off. “Harry, stop it. I don’t mind going to the zoo. I think it’s a lovely idea.” He reached out and took Harry’s hand. “As for being childish, I don’t think you got to do a lot of things children do. It’s normal that you should want to experience things you’ve never done…like going to the zoo.”

“I did once.” Harry’s voice was so quiet Draco could hardly hear him. “When I was ten, my cousin Dudley wanted to go for his birthday and I got to go because no one wanted to stay with me at the house. They didn’t trust me to stay alone.” 

It broke Draco’s heart to see the pain of being unwanted flash across Harry’s face. “Harry, you don’t have to tell me…”

Harry shrugged and looked up at him. “I’m sorry; I shouldn’t be bothering you with this…”

Draco pushed Harry’s legs off his lap and then before the other man could feel rejected, scooted across the couch so they were side by side. He tucked Harry into his side and tipped his head up to look into his eyes.

“You aren’t bothering me at all. I just don’t want you to feel like you have to tell me anything if it hurts you too much to talk about it.” Draco let all the emotions simmering inside him show in his gaze. “But I do want to hear what you have to say, I promise.”

Harry looked at him for a moment and then lowered his head to rest on Draco’s shoulder.

“It was kind of funny in a way, I guess. Dudley and his friends were teasing me a little, but I just tried to ignore them. Then we got to the snake exhibit and that’s when things went weird.” 

Draco smiled a little at the amusement in Harry’s voice. 

Harry chuckled. “You can’t imagine what it was like, standing there and hearing this voice, wondering where it was coming from. I thought I was finally starting to go mental.”

As he listened, Draco realized he could hear the heartache seeping through under the laughter and he pulled Harry a little closer.

“When I finally realized that it was coming from the snake, it scared me…but it fascinated me too. Then I accidentally made the glass keeping it in its enclosure vanish and all hell broke loose.” 

Draco could just imagine. He knew that most Muggles didn’t respond well to random acts of magic happening around them. “So, what happened?”

Harry was quiet for a moment before answering. “Dudley almost shit his pants is what happened. He was so terrified it was worth the trouble I got into for it later. At the time, I had no idea what I’d done or how, but obviously my Aunt and Uncle did.”

Harry broke off looking thoughtful and Draco couldn’t help but be more awed by this amazing young man. 

“Every time I learn something new about you Harry, I find out you’re even more special than I thought.”

Harry snorted in disbelief. “Why, because I was too stupid to know what I was?”

Draco shook his head and sighed. “No, because here you are, alive and still sane after a life like that. Most children would have lost their minds over the things that happened to you. You were abused and neglected for the first half of your life and then thrust into a world you had absolutely no knowledge of and yet were somehow expected to save. And you did and all without asking for anything for yourself.”

“People survive how they can, Draco. You know that as well as I do…”

“Being selfless isn’t weak Harry, it’s being strong. How many people would be able to resist if they were in the position you’re in? You’ve been offered money and power beyond most people’s wildest imaginations and you have no use for any of it.” Draco threaded his fingers through Harry’s, smiling when the other man squeezed his hand back.

Harry didn’t say anything and Draco didn’t think pushing it at the moment would get him anywhere.

“So, the zoo it is.” He gave Harry a hug and then stood up, pulling the smaller man with him. “Let’s go get dressed, shall we? I don’t believe that pajamas are proper for public wear, no matter what the teenagers are wearing these days.”

Harry nodded and headed for the guest room before stopping. “I only have the clothes I was wearing yesterday. I guess I could run home and get some…” He trailed off and his obvious reluctance to return to Grimmauld Place tugged at Draco’s heart. He grabbed Harry’s hand again and pulled him to his own room. 

“I have something you can borrow.” He started pulling clothing out of his closet, tossing a pair of denims and a t-shirt at Harry and then grabbing a hoodie as well. It was still spring and unlike his enchanted garden, the outside world was still a little chilly.

“Draco, your clothes aren’t going to fit me. In case you haven’t noticed, you’re more than a bit taller than me.”

Draco grinned as he sauntered over his dresser and grabbed a pair of underwear and some socks out of a drawer before tossing them at Harry. “Well, it’s a good thing I know a few tailoring spells then, isn’t it?”

Harry looked surprised and then nodded, looking pleased. 

“Get changed and when you’re ready, I fix them for you. Better go do it in the guest room, or I’m just going to ogle your arse the whole time.” He watched for Harry’s reaction under the cover of looking for clothing for himself. He didn’t think he was going to get one other than a blush as he left the room, but Draco heard him mumble faintly as he left.

He was almost positive that the other man had quietly said “maybe I want you to” and Draco couldn’t be more pleased.

He changed quickly and tried to wait for Harry patiently, but he couldn’t wait. He wandered down the hall and knocked on the guest room door. It must not have been latched properly and it swung open, revealing his dark-haired guest in the midst of pulling his t-shirt on. 

The brief glimpse of his pale skin left Draco twitching in his pants. Harry had obviously been using some of his free time to work out, because even though he hadn’t been eating enough, his chest and stomach were well toned. He had dusky pink nipples that Draco longed to lick into taunt little peaks and thin line of dark hair that started below his belly button and disappeared under the waistline of his borrowed underwear.

The denims he was wearing hung dangerously low on his hips and Draco could see the beginning of the cut of the muscle of his pelvis. He was beautiful. 

Harry’s hair was tousled and his glasses sat a little askew on his face. Draco found himself crossing the room without thinking and carefully straightening them before running a hand through the messy hair, trying to make it behave a little. It was an impossible task.

Draco almost leaned in and kissed him but caught himself at the last second. Harry wasn’t ready yet. 

“Shall I fix those now?” He gestured to the too-large clothing and Harry nodded, licking his lips nervously.

“Yes please. I don’t want to be dropping my trousers in the middle of the zoo now, do I?” There almost seemed to be a little bit of a challenge in those words and Draco thought that maybe Harry was closer to ready than he thought.

Draco pulled his wand and muttered a few words. Harry looked a little nervous but smiled when the clothing seemed to shrink to fit and stay that way. 

“Thanks Draco. I really do appreciate it.” Harry’s face shone with happiness as he looked at himself in the mirror and Draco loved it. Harry grabbed the hoodie and put it on, blushing, but waving Draco away when he would have tailored it. “I like it this way.” 

Draco couldn’t help but agree. The hoodie was big on him, making him look even smaller than he was and the fact that it was Draco’s clothes he was wearing made him feel protective and possessive of the other man. He wanted to pick him up and put him to bed and keep him there forever.

Instead he smiled and pointed at the door. “Shall we go?”

The childlike enthusiasm in Harry’s face told him it was the right decision. He followed him out the door and down the hall. When they reached the parlor, Draco took the lead and they went out the front door and down to the gate so they could Apparate to the zoo.

“Shall I do it? I know where to land so we’re not noticed.” He held out his hand but Harry just ignored it and scooted in close, hanging on to Draco’s jacket. 

“I hate Apparating. I always feel like I’m going to fall when I arrive.” He scowled as he spoke and Draco knew he was totally gone for him when he found that adorable too.

Wrapping his arm tightly around Harry’s waist, he pulled his wand again. “Hang on Sweets.” He muttered the spell and found himself surprised when he felt a light kiss land on his cheek just before he got that jerked by his middle feeling.

When they landed, Harry did indeed stumble but Draco caught him and kept him upright. He lifted his hand and shook a finger at the other man.

“Kissing me right before we Apparate is a good way to get us splinched, cheeky bugger.” He made sure to smile to take the sting out of his words.

Harry smiled up at him shyly. “Sorry?” 

Draco shook his head and laughed. “For kissing me or for when you did it.”

Harry’s eyes sparkled as he stared at Draco for a moment before shaking his head. “No, not for kissing you.” 

Draco decided to take a chance. He slid one hand up to curl around the back of Harry’s skull and used it to hold him still as he leaned in and gently pressed their lips together.

Harry’s hands came up and grabbed the front of Draco’s jacket, using it to pull him closer. When his lips parted in a gasp, Draco couldn’t resist dipping his tongue inside for a small taste, moaning when Harry’s tongue tentatively touched his. 

When he pulled back a little they were both breathing a little faster. “I’m not sorry for kissing you either.”

Harry’s hand came up and Draco had a fleeting moment when he was sure he was going to get slapped, but the other man just touched his fingers to Draco’s lips softly before curling around his neck and pulling him in for another kiss. 

Draco let it continue for a few seconds, enjoying the touching, but made himself pull back. He let go of Harry reluctantly but immediately took his hand. 

“Let’s go check out the zoo, and then we’ll go out for dinner if you’re up to it. Is that all right with you?” He watched with amusement as the slightly dazed look left Harry’s eyes.

“Yeah, that sounds good.” He smiled timidly and Draco reached up to brush his bangs back and then leaned down to kiss him on the forehead.

“Come on then.” Together they turned toward Regent’s Park and the London Zoo, walking hand in hand. 

Draco knew he should have felt bad about the bit of glamour he’d wandlessly cast on them so that they wouldn’t be noticed, but he didn’t want their day ruined by anything, including an idiotic, homophobic Muggle. Harry was just starting to feel better and he deserved a day of peace.

They enjoyed walking around and seeing all the animals. Harry’s favorites seemed to be the gorillas. They were huge and somewhat terrifying, but fascinating none the less. Draco was pretty sure he felt some magic hovering around and was a little startled when one of the smaller animals winked and grinned at him. 

He smirked as he realized it was some animangus having a bit of a lark. He pointed the creature out to Harry quietly and his eye’s widened slightly before he started chuckling.

When they reached the snake exhibit, he watched as Harry stopped and listened and then smiled.

“It’s here…the same snake.” Harry whispered in his ear and pointed to a large snake sunning itself on a rock. “It remembers me and was thanking me for the adventure of a lifetime. Apparently it caused quite a stir before it was caught.”

The grin Harry sported warmed Draco to the core and he couldn’t help himself when he leaned in for a quick kiss. “You’re adorable.”

The snake raised its head and hissed something at Harry who blushed and ducked his head. 

Draco laughed. “Now, what could a snake possibly say to have you blushing so sweetly?”

Harry shook his head, refusing to answer. “Nn…nothing.” 

Draco raised his free hand and put a finger under Harry’s chin, tipping his face up so their eyes met. He raised an eyebrow at him questioningly. “Nothing? I think you’re avoiding the truth Harry.”

Harry closed his eyes and took a deep breath before opening them again. “It said that my boyfriend was very handsome and it’s happy that you seem to be making me smile.”

Draco found himself smiling at the snake. “Boyfriend huh?”

Harry nodded his smile fading. “Yeah, pretty silly, right?”

Draco looked at the other man, seeing the self-doubt in his eyes. That would never do. 

“I don’t know, doesn’t sound that silly to me.” He slid his arm around Harry’s waist, pulling them flush together. Leaning down, he whispered in his ear. “In case you’ve missed it, I’ve been flirting with you all day.”

“Oh…I kind of thought so, but…” Harry’s hands came up to rest on Draco’s chest, his fingers playing with the button on his jacket. “I wasn’t sure if you meant it.”

“Do people often flirt with you and not mean it?” He’d meant it to be teasing, but when those deep green eyes met his; the hurt in them was palpable.

“All the time.” He tried to pull away but Draco just held him closer. 

“I’m sorry Sweetheart. It’s horrible that people do that to you, but I promise, I mean it.” He leaned down to brush his lips against Harry’s temple. He felt him shiver and he pulled back. “Are you cold?”

Harry shook his head. “No…just your breath on my ear. It kind of tickled?”

Draco bent to whisper in his ear, making sure to let his lips brush against it as he spoke. “Like this you mean?”

Harry shivered a little harder in his arms. “Yeah…Merlin that feels good.” He sounded breathless and he was pressing himself a little closer to Draco. If he wasn’t careful, he was going to find out exactly how much Draco was appreciating having him in his arms.

This wasn’t the time or the place, so Draco loosened his grip a little. “Come on love, I think it’s time to get ourselves some dinner.”

The flash of disappointment on Harry’s face made him smirk. “Where would you like to go? There are a lot of Muggle restaurants where no one will bother us.”

“I’d just like to go home.” Draco’s eyes widened. He wanted to go home? 

“I mean, back to the Manor…if we could?” He looked so hopeful that Draco couldn’t resist.

“Of course we can; anything you want.”

Harry swallowed and took a breath. “Even if what I want is you?”

The heat in those words had Draco’s cock twitching in his pants. Closing the gap swiftly, he plundered Harry’s mouth, nipping at it until his lips parted and then plunging his tongue inside. He slid his hand up and around Harry’s neck and into his hair, tugging gently so he could get the angle he wanted on the kiss.

When they finally came up for air, Draco smiled down at him. “Especially if what you want is me.” 

Harry’s face was flushed and his eyes were a brighter green than Draco had seen them since they were in school. Arousal looked damn good on him.

“Come on then. Let’s get out of here before we get arrested for public indecency.” 

Harry nodded and they parted reluctantly. Harry hissed a quick goodbye to the snake and they walked out of the building. They quickly made for the apparition point hand in hand and when they reached it, Harry threw his arms around Draco, and they were gone.

When they landed at the Gates of Malfoy Manor, Harry used the hand he had on Draco’s neck to pull him in for another kiss. It was sweet and exploring and Draco let him control it. When Harry’s tongue licked along his lips, he parted them, letting him explore his mouth.

Harry smiled against his lips and Draco pulled back to look at him. 

“What?”

“You taste of the strawberry licorice you had at the zoo.” 

Draco grinned. “My turn to taste.” 

Sliding one hand up, he tangled his fingers in the soft hair on the back of Harry’s head, pulling a little to make him arch his neck, giving Draco access to the delicate skin under his jaw. He trailed gentle kisses there before sucking on the sensitive spot under his ear.

Harry bucked in his arms, pressing the evidence of his interest against Draco’s hip causing them both to moan.

“You taste salty and sweet at the same time.” He murmured the words against Harry’s skin, causing him to shiver. “Come on; let’s get in the house before we scandalize the neighbors.”

At that Harry pulled back and looked around. “Draco, you don’t have any neighbors. You live on an estate.”

Draco laughed at him. “Still, there are far more comfortable places to explore this in the house, don’t you agree?” He stepped back, offering Harry his hand.

Harry looks at him, smiling shyly, before taking it. “Yes, I really think I do.”   



	4. Finding Purpose Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been three years since their 8th and final year at Hogwarts. Harry is trying and failing to find a place in a Voldemort free world and Draco thinks it's time he did something to repay Harry for saving him and everyone else. If it make Draco happy as well, all the better.

They walked back to the manor hand in hand, stopping to kiss sweetly a few times. Draco was totally captivated by the happy glow in Harry’s beautiful eyes and he never wanted it to fade.

They walked in the house and went up to Draco’s sitting room. He left Harry standing by the couch as he went over to light the fire and then walked back to him. He slid one arm around Harry’s waist and the other curled around the back of his neck. 

“I’m going to kiss you again now.” Draco kept his voice soft.

Harry nodded, smiling shyly up at him. Draco closed the distance between them and instead of taking the other man’s lips he pressed his mouth to the spot behind Harry’s ear that had made him shudder before.The moan of appreciation that fell from Harry made Draco smile against his skin.

“Why…mm…why are you smiling?”Harry was already breathless, his hands clutching at Draco’s shoulders. 

“Because, my love, I’m so very happy.”

Harry pulled back a little, looking up into Draco’s eyes. “Why are you so happy?”

Draco leaned in and kissed him on the forehead.“Because I’m standing here with you in my arms and I get to kiss you.”

“And if that’s all that I want…if it’s all that I’m ready for?” His hand came up to curl around Draco’s cheek, stroking gently.

“Then that’s what we’ll do. I thank Merlin for just the chance to be here with you. Everything else can wait until you’re ready.” He leaned into the touch, almost purring with pleasure.

“You really mean that, don’t you?” Harry looked up at Draco, his eyes filled with awe. “I’m dreaming, right? This can’t really be real, can it?”

“Why can’t it, Harry? Who deserves to be loved and cherished more than you?” Draco brought both hands up to frame the other man’s face, making sure he couldn’t look away. “You have earned your happiness and it’s time you had it.”

Draco smoothed his thumbs over Harry’s cheekbones. “I don’t know if I’m your happiness Harry, but I know that you’re mine, so I hope you’ll at least let me try. “ He looked at Harry, letting everything he felt…everything he wanted show in his eyes. “Please say you’ll let me try…”

There was one moment when Draco was sure that Harry would say no and leave; when he’d go back to his lonely life rather than be with someone who loved him, just to punish himself…or Draco.

But then Harry’s face lit up with a wondrous smile and he snaked his arms around Draco’s neck and pulled him down to devour his mouth.They pulled back reluctantly to breathe and he smiled at Harry.

“I’m hoping that was a ‘yes’ kiss and not a goodbye kiss.” Draco couldn’t stop smiling.

Harry gave a huff of laughter and smacked Draco’s arm. “Stupid arse.”

Draco wrapped his arms around Harry’s waist and lifted him into another breath stealing kiss.When they parted, Draco was startled when smaller man gave him a hard shove. He panicked for a second before realizing that the couch was right behind him. He landed on it heavily and then, before he could think, he found himself with a lap full of squirming Harry Potter.

“I’ve always wanted to do that.”

Draco raised one eyebrow at him. “You’ve always wanted to push me down?”

Harry smiled at him wryly. “Maybe years ago.” He snickered a little as he settled his knees on either side of Draco’s thighs. “No, I’ve always wanted to crawl up into someone’s lap. It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to do that. Not since my mother…” He trailed off, eyes going sad for a moment and then he shook himself out of it. “I hope you don’t mind, because I think I might do it a lot.”

Draco tried to look put out. “I guess I can put up with it if I have to.” He settled his hands on other man’s hips, pulling him a little closer. Harry with a little confidence was even more attractive.

“Put up with it huh?” Harry rocked his hips, scraping his denim clad ass over Draco’s cock. He’d been hard since the zoo and the friction felt heavenly. “How about this?” He leaned in and nuzzled his nose into Draco’s neck, sucking softly for a second and then pulling back a little. “Can you put up with that?”

“Only if you do it harder.” Draco’s voice was rough and he felt Harry shudder.Those bright green eyes widened and Harry grinned like a child on Christmas day. When his mouth found Draco’s neck again, it was the blonds turn to tremble.

Harry started tentatively, mouth soft on Draco’s skin until his confidence grew. Draco was content to whisper words of encouragement as Harry explored until he pushed back a little to look in his eyes.

“I want you to touch me Draco. I need you to.” He grabbed the hem of the hoodie he was wearing and pulled it off. He took one of Draco’s hands off his hip and slipped it under the hem of the t-shirt he was wearing, hissing when bare skin touched bare skin.

“C’mere sweetheart.” Draco slid his hand around and rested it on the small of Harry’s back, using it to pull him closer. He nipped at his jaw and suckled at his throat, enjoying the soft noises of pleasure falling from the other man’s lips. 

“Draco please…” He pushed Harry’s shirt up, exposing his warm pale skin to his exploring mouth. He leaned in and licked over one of his flat brown nipples, loving how it pebbled under his tongue. It caused the smaller man’s back to arch as he pressed forward, trying to get closer to Draco’s mouth. 

He felt Harry’s hands on his chest, fluttering with clumsy fingers, trying to undo the small buttons on his shirt and suddenly he was out of patience. He set Harry gently on his feet, ignoring his whine of disappointment and stood up. 

 

Draco shrugged out of his jacket and then grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it up and off, tossing it on the ground.When his eyes met Harry’s he was bowled over by the want and need in the other man’s expression.Taking a step forward, he closed the small amount of space between them and wrapped his arms around Harry’s waist, pulling him snugly against him. 

The skin under his fingers was soft and he wanted to feel it forever. Harry put both arms around his neck and pulled him down for a kiss neither of them wanted to break. Draco slowly tried to steer them toward his bedroom. He wanted to be able to stretch the other man out under him and take his time in making love to him. 

They kept bumping into things, however, and once Draco almost tripped over Harry and that’s when his impatience got the best of him.He slid his hands down, cupping Harry’s tight little arse and pulled him up. He decided Harry was brilliant when he immediately got the hint and wrapped both legs around Draco’s hips and clung to him. 

When they finally made it to the bedroom, Draco knelt on the bed and gently lowered Harry to the mattress. He leaned over him, cradling his body with his arms and kissed his way down his throat and chest. The sounds Harry made when Draco bit softly at his nipple had him desperate to get off his constricting jeans. 

He pulled back to his knees and reached for the button of his pants to undo it, but Harry sat up and quickly batted his hands away. Draco watched as those small hands popped the button and pulled down the zipper, finally giving his aching cock some relief. 

Once again he let Harry set the pace, allowing him to explore while trying to hold himself back so he didn’t frighten him. He wanted this to be only pleasure for Harry.

“You’re so amazing Draco.” Harry’s soft voice startled him. “You’ve been so kind to me, so understanding. You haven’t asked anything of me except to spend time with me and for me to be myself.” Harry’s fingers looked almost delicate as they slid under the waistband of Draco’s briefs and curled carefully around his cock, causing him to groan with pleasure.

“I’m not amazing…I’m greedy.” Draco was feeling a little guilty. He wanted Harry so much, but he felt like he might be taking advantage of his inexperience and his desperation for companionship.

“I know.” Harry ran a finger over the head of Draco’s cock, collection the wetness that had gathered at the tip, and Draco shivered at the touch. “But I think I like that you’re greedy about me. Because I can tell, it’s not anything you want from me but me…and this.” He stroked down Draco’s shaft, causing his hips to buck and he smiled like he’d been given a gift.

“You’re so beautiful Draco.” He pulled his hand from Draco’s underwear and brought one glistening finger up to look at it before sucking it between his lips to taste. Draco reached down and grabbed the base of his dick hard to keep from coming. 

He pushed Harry back on the bed and leaned down to suck a red mark into the delicate skin just under his navel, distracting him as he hurriedly got Harry’s borrowed jeans open.When he pulled back, the other man looked at him and smiled shyly before lifting his hips and pushing down the jeans and his underwear with them. The combination of innocence and seduction flowing from Harry was the headiest thing Draco had ever experienced. 

“You’re going to be the death of me Harry.” He bent and kissed the inside of Harry’s thigh, where the skin was soft and almost hairless.The scent of the other man’s arousal was all around him, adding to the overwhelming sensations he was feeling. 

“You smell amazing…” He stuck out his tongue and licked a wet trail up, stopping just short of the delicate skin of Harry’s sac. “And you taste delicious.”

He looked up as Harry squirmed, smiling at the pretty blush that was creeping down from his face across his chest. He couldn’t help surging up and kissing him again.

“Draco, please…” Harry reached down and pushed at Draco’s denims.“Take them off.”

Draco kissed him once more and then stood up. He pushed his remaining clothing off quickly and then settled back over Harry, bringing their bodies flush.The first brush of the their bare cocks rubbing together had them both moaning and Harry’s knees came up to bracket Draco’s waist, trying to bring them closer together.

“I don’t…fuck…I don’t know what to do.” Harry sounded tormented by his inexperience, but it was one of the things making it even more intense for Draco.

“Shhh, it’s alright love. We just do what feels good.” He bucked his hips, sliding their cocks together between their bodies. They were both slick with sweat and pre-come and the feeling of them rubbing and catching on each other was heavenly. 

“It all feels good with you.” Harry’s hands clutched at Draco’s back and it made him happy to know that he’d probably have scratches and bruises on his skin from Harry’s desperation.

Draco let his lips explore Harry’s mouth, plunging his tongue in and then pulling out to suck red marks into his throat, leaving his own marks on the man writhing below him. 

“Draco…I think I’m gonna…oh god, too soon.” 

Draco could feel the beginnings of his own orgasm building, the heat pushing up from the small of his back, the tightening of his balls, telling him he was close. “Just let it go Harry. We have lots of time for more.”

Harry dug his heels into Draco’s ass, trying to find the leverage to get more friction. “I need…I need something.”

“I know, love, I’ll give it to you.” Draco let one hand fall to Harry’s thigh and then stroked up, letting it curl around and under one cheek. He let his fingers slide into the crease of Harry’s ass and ghost over the furled pink muscle there.He was rewarded when the other man stiffened in his arms crying out Draco’s name.

The feeling of his release between them was enough to push Draco over the edge as he buried his face in Harry’s neck and moaned his pleasure.

Draco could barely hold himself up so he slid the hand on Harry’s arse up to the small of his back and used the last of his strength to roll them over. When he had his breath back, he grabbed his wand off the night table and muttered a quick cleansing spell.Harry still hadn’t said anything, just snuggled in as close as he could.

“You alright sweetheart?” He rubbed a soothing hand up and down Harry’s back.

“M’fine” His voice was muffled against Draco’s chest but the blond was sure there was shame in his voice. He brought his other hand up and lifted Harry’s chin.

“What’s wrong? Did I hurt you…or scare you?” He used both hands to cradle Harry’s face now, cursing himself for being so impulsive. 

“No, honest…I’m just embarrassed. And I didn’t want this to be over yet.” He looked so sad but Draco couldn’t help but smile.

“You have nothing to be embarrassed about Harry. In case you didn’t notice, I was right behind you. And if you hadn’t come when you did, I would have been first.” He leaned in to kiss him, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth and giving it a little nip. “And it isn’t over. I told you, there’s lots of time. Unless you’re planning on going somewhere?”

Harry quickly shook his head. “I don’t want to. I just didn’t know if you wanted me to stay.”

Draco didn’t take offense to the lack of confidence that Harry showed. He knew it would take more than a couple of days for the other man to realize that this was real, that he really did want him and wouldn’t hurt him. 

He let Harry curl in closer and rest his head on his shoulder.He wrapped him tightly in his arms and summoned the blanket that had been pushed to the bottom of the bed to cover them both. 

“Of course I want you to stay, my love. If I had my way you’d never go home.” 

Harry had his face pushed into Draco’s neck again. “Really?” The hope and disbelief in his voice was heartbreaking. “Why?”

Draco smiled and hugged him tightly, shivering a little at the feeling of Harry’s breath on his skin. “Because, you silly git, I like being with you and want to get to know everything about you. I want to wake up with you in the morning and kiss you before you even open those gorgeous eyes of yours and I want to snuggle with you every night as we fall asleep.”

Harry sighed happily. “You just want to snuggle?” 

Draco reached down and gave Harry’s arse a quick pinch, smirking at the squeak it got him. “No, cheeky bugger, snuggling is for when we’ve tired each other out too much to do anything else…unless that’s all we feel like doing.”

“Hmmm, I like snuggling with you.” Harry’s voice was sleepy and relaxed. It made Draco’s heart soar to know that he trusted him that much. 

“I like snuggling with you too.” He kissed the top of Harry’s head. “But don’t tell anyone, it’ll ruin my reputation. Malfoy’s don’t snuggle.”

Harry chuckled quietly and snuffled against Draco’s neck. “You’re secret’s safe with me.”

Draco could feel Harry’s breaths starting to lengthen and even out. “Go to sleep, love. I’ll keep your bad dreams away.”

“I know.” Harry breathed it out over Draco’s skin as he drifted off to sleep. 

Draco knew that they had a ways to go before Harry would have all his confidence back. And he knew that there were elements in the Wizarding world who wouldn’t like him and Harry being together, but he didn’t care. As far as he was concerned, no one would ever hurt or take advantage of Harry again.

Draco had finally figured out that some things were worth the work…and the wait. Harry was one of them.

** EPILOGUE (Three Months Later) **

“Harry love, are you sure about this?” Draco looked down at their joined hands as they prepared to walk out the door of the Leaky Cauldron. 

“Are you?” Those big green eyes looked up at him with trepidation and he cursed himself. He leaned down and kissed Harry softly.

“Of course I am. I just know that there will be people who won’t be happy that we’re together.”

They’d kept things quiet until now, just enjoying spending time together away from the prying eyes of the world. They had spent a lot of time at the Manor, letting Harry get to know Draco’s mother as his father was still out of the country, helping the Auror’s break up bands of dark wizards who were trying to figure out if they could bring Voldemort back once more. It was his voluntary penance for his part in the war.

Hermione had invited them to dinner and Draco had insisted on taking her up on the invitation. He had no intention of letting Harry lose the connection to his dearest friends and so he’d gone and been on his best behavior, even when Ron had repeatedly tested his patience and tried to get under his skin.

Sitting beside Harry, holding his hand had helped. Having those soft fingers caressing his palm had distracted his irritation and in the end, he and Ron had called a truce. 

A few weeks later, they’d had Luna and Neville over and it was a lovely evening with smiles and laughter and Draco had beamed as his boyfriend had teased his friends and enjoyed a few glasses of wine.They’d both gotten a little tipsy and when their friends had left, they’d fallen into bed, kissing and lazily rubbing off on each other before drifting into a peaceful sleep.

It hadn’t all been perfect. There had been a visit from the Ministry where they’d wanted to give Draco Veritaserum to see how he’d put Harry under his spell. Draco had agreed to do it, but the Auror’s had left in a hurry when Harry threatened to obliviate them until they couldn’t remember their names.

And Harry still suffered from nightmares that made him wake up screaming, but Draco had found out that they most often were about the deaths of all the people Harry had loved and lost. Those nights found Harry clinging a little tighter to Draco like he was afraid his lover was going to slip away while he slept.

One of the hardest tests had been when Harry had gone for his monthly dinner at the Burrow and had insisted on taking Draco with him. He’d been secretly terrified that he wouldn’t make it out alive, but they’d all been pleasant.

After dinner Molly had been unusually quiet as she watched the two of them. When it was time to go, she’d walked up to them and hugged Harry tightly and then Draco had found himself in a motherly hug as well. When she had pulled back, she kissed him on the cheek and whispered “thank you” to him. It was one of the oddest, most wonderful nights of his life.

Now they were about to walk into Diagon Alley hand in hand and Draco was terrified. Not for himself, but for Harry. He’d come a long way in the last three months but he was still a little unsure of himself and his place in the world. They had stuck to muggle areas when they’d gone out before this, but it was time to stop hiding from the Wizarding world.

Draco tightened his grip and pulled his boyfriend to him, holding him tight. He ignored the curious stares of the pub patrons and smiled at Harry.

“I can’t wait to go out there and show everyone how lucky I am to have such an amazing boyfriend.” He bent and kissed Harry’s adorable nose. “However, I reserve the right to hex anyone who dares to take your smile away today. It’s our day and I refuse the let anyone spoil it, alright?”

Harry’s hand came up to curl around Draco’s cheek. “You won’t hex anyone today. People can say what they want about us but I don’t care. I…” He licked his lips and it made Draco want to nibble on them. “I love you Draco, with all my heart. Anyone who has a problem with it can kiss my arse.”

Draco couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face. “You love me huh? And this is the place you decide to tell me?”

Harry’s smile faltered a little. “Did I screw it up?”

Draco just shook his head and bent and kissed him. As soon as those perfect lips parted for him, he delved inside, their tongues curling together. When they both needed to breathe, he pulled back.

“No sweetheart, you didn’t screw it up. It’s the absolute perfect place to tell me.” He couldn’t stop himself from kissing him again. “I love you too.” He panted the words out as Harry pressed closer to him. 

All of the sudden Draco felt that familiar strange pull in the middle of his stomach and he found himself in the middle of his bedroom with Harry practically climbing him. 

“I though you hated Apparating.” He slid his hands down and cupped Harry’s arse. He pulled him up so that the smaller man could wrap his legs around Draco’s waist, pressing their cocks together.

Harry had nuzzled his way into Draco’s neck and pulled back a little to answer. “I do, but I wanted to get home quickly and besides…” Those green eyes found his, pupils blown with lust. He leaned up and whispered in Draco’s ear. “…you’d never let me fall.”

Draco shivered and walked toward the bed with Harry in his arms. When his knees touched the edge, he lowered his lover gently and then lay beside him. He slid one hand around the back of Harry’s neck and pulled him in for a dizzying kiss. “You’re right…I won’t.”

Harry pulled back and got up on his knees. He unbuttoned the shirt he was wearing and let it slip off his shoulders, his eyes never leaving Draco’s. He grabbed it and tossed it to the floor and then reached for the button of his jeans. Draco’s hand came up to stop him.

“Are you sure baby? You don’t have to if you’re not ready.” He and Harry had done a lot of things in the last three months but he’d never pushed for the thing he wanted most. To be inside Harry was almost more than he could dream of, but Harry had needed time and Draco was determined to give it to him.

Harry’s hands came up to frame Draco’s face. He leaned in and kissed him on the forehead before resting them together.

“I love you and I want to know what it feels like to have you make love to me. I’m not scared and you’re not pushing me into it, I promise.”

Draco kissed him again and then gently lowered him to the bed once more. “Let me…”

His boyfriend nodded and Draco reached for the button on Harry’s jeans, popping it and lowering the zipper slowly. He let his knuckles drag over the hardening flesh that seem to be trying to escape as the pants opened. Harry gasped and tried to thrust against the friction.

“Not yet my love. I plan on taking my time.” He grabbed the waistband of Harry’s jeans and pulled them down, smiling when the smaller man lifted his hips to make it easier for him to take them off.

Draco tossed the pants to the floor and leaned in to nuzzle against the soft cotton covering Harry’s erection. “You smell so good baby.” Harry whimpered and reached down to scrabble at Draco’s shirt.

“Off…you need to be naked too.” It was a demand he couldn’t resist. He sat up and pulled his shirt off before standing up on the bed and quickly undoing his jeans and shoving them off, briefs and all.

Harry reached toward him. “You’re so beautiful Draco.” His voice was soft and full of awe.

Draco smiled as a blush spread over Harry’s cheeks and down his chest. “Sorry. I know you’re not supposed to call blokes beautiful…” He ducked his head for a moment but then brought it up defiantly so looked into his eyes. “But you really are.”

Draco chuckled. “I’ve been called worse…” He stepped between Harry’s legs and then sank to his knees. He leaned in to kiss his way up Harry’s torso, smiling when the other man’s hands sunk into his hair. “Besides, you’re kind of beautiful yourself.”

Harry bit his lip and ducked his head in embarrassment. He wasn’t very good at receiving compliments.

Draco lifted Harry’s chin and smiled into his eyes. “None of that now, sweetheart.” He leaned in and kissed him until he forgot his embarrassment and wrapped both arms around Draco’s neck. 

He kissed his way down Harry’s jaw to the sensitive place behind his ear that always made him writhe under Draco. He nipped and sucked at it renewing the purple bruise that almost always seemed to be there now.

Harry was moaning and had wrapped his legs around Draco’s thighs, trying to get more friction where he needed it most. Draco mouthed his way down to Harry’s chest, stopping to circle his tongue around the dark pink of his areola, waiting for the smaller man to beg before sucking it in and biting it gently. 

The smaller man mewled his approval, arching up, pressing more of himself to his boyfriend. Draco slid his arms behind Harry’s back, pulling him up and into his lap. He loved how Harry fit there, clinging to Draco and letting himself go.

He worked over the tempting dusky nubs until Harry was rutting against his stomach. “I’m going to lay you down on your front, all right?” Harry nodded and then Draco pulled a pillow down, turning the other man and laying him down with the pillow under his hips. 

Draco hadn’t done this before, although he had made Harry come just by rubbing over his prostate with one finger and sucking on his neck.

He stretched himself out over Harry and pressed gentle kisses down his spine until he reached the cleft of his ass. He couldn’t help rubbing his cheek over the velvety skin, smiling when it caused Harry to press back into the touch.

“Gods…Draco…please” Harry’s voice was soft and sweet, pleading for something he didn’t even know he needed. 

“I’ve got you baby. Just relax.” Draco used his hands to pull Harry’s cheeks apart and leaned in to flick his tongue softly over the wrinkled pink skin.

“Oh…Merlin…” The words were startled out of Harry and Draco looked up to see the other man’s hands fisted into the blanket under him. “That feels brilliant.”

Draco continued his ministrations licking and sucking on the rim of Harry’s hole, before pointing his tongue and pressing it in slowly.Harry pressed back into the sensation and Draco hummed his approval, causing his lover to cry out.

“Draco…fuck…gonna.” Draco reached under Harry and grabbed the base of his cock, pulling his mouth back and holding tight until Harry relaxed a little.

“I want to see your face sweetheart. Roll over for me.” Harry was practically boneless but he moved because Draco asked him to. He settled on his back his ass still resting on the pillow and smiled up at Draco with love and wonder. He reached out his arms and Draco was powerless to resist. 

He moved to blanket the smaller man with his body, letting their cocks rub together, while they moaned their pleasure. Draco murmured a wandless spell that left his fingers slick. He could have used a preparation spell on Harry, but he wanted to do it himself this first time.

He distracted Harry with kisses as he moved his slick hand between them and stroke Harry’s cock a few times before letting it slide back to circle around the sensitive skin around his entrance. It was already a little loose from Draco rimming him, but he wanted to make sure it was all about pleasure and nothing about pain for Harry.

The other man’s hands were gripping his shoulders tightly, as if making sure he couldn’t get away. He was so relaxed that he didn’t even clench up at all when Draco slid his finger in to the first knuckle and he pushed back against it for more almost immediately. 

“Draco…oh my love…” Draco smiled against Harry’s mouth. Some people got dirty mouths when they were aroused, but his boyfriend just got positively sappy instead.

“What do you need baby?” Draco already knew but wanted to hear him say it.

“You…please…just you.” Harry had moved one hand to tangle in Draco’s hair, pulling him in closer to suck on his neck. Every time Draco’s tongue or lips passed over that bruise, Harry shivered.

“You have me Harry.” Draco slid another finger in, stopping and waiting when Harry’s muscled gripped him tightly for a moment. 

“Don’t stop…need this.” Draco shook his head as Harry pleaded. 

“I won’t…I promise.” Draco moved his fingers in and out, scissoring them as they went until Harry was begging for more.

“Now Draco…please…I’m ready.” 

Draco nodded and pulled his fingers out. He muttered the spell again, slicking his fingers again and then stroking his cock. He put Harry’s legs high around his waist and groaned as they tried to pull him in.

He lined himself up with Harry and pushed in slowly, stopping with every wince and hitch of breath that the smaller man gave.

Finally he was as deep as he could go and he stopped and waited. 

Harry’s eye’s had slipped shut when Draco entered him, but now they opened and Harry looked up at him, his eyes full of love and wonder and awe.

“You feel so good in me Draco. Please move for me.” He petted his hand down the side of Draco’s face as he said it.

Draco kissed him deeply and then pulled out just a little, thrusting back in gently.

Harry groaned and pulled on him a little harder so Draco kept moving, pulling out a little further every time until he was thrusting hard, making sure to hit Harry’s prostate with every stroke.

Neither of them had any words, just whines of pleasure and the slapping of skin on skin. Draco watched as Harry inched his hand toward his cock and he beat him to it. He stroked him firmly like he knew Harry liked it, trying to keep some kind of rhythm.

All of the sudden Harry’s eyes flew open and he gasped. “Draco…I…”

Draco could feel every muscle in Harry’s body tightening as he pumped into him.

“Let it go Harry…please. Let me see it baby.” Draco used the pet name deliberately. Harry had confessed how much he liked it one night after too much wine.

Harry’s back arched as thick ropes of wet heat covered his stomach and chest and Draco’s hand. Watching his lover fall apart was completely intoxicating for Draco and the squeeze of his orgasm around his cock had Draco following soon after. He cried out Harry’s name and collapsed on top of him.

He let himself languish for a moment before trying to move, but found himself held in place by slim hands curled around his biceps and surprisingly strong legs around his thighs.

“Stay please. Just for a minute.” Harry’s voice was happy and content.

“As long as you want my love.” Draco leaned on one elbow to take some of his weight off the smaller man but Harry’s grip was fierce. He contented himself with kissing Harry’s face, sliding his lips softly over his cheekbones and forehead before letting their lips slid together lazily.

When the grip holding him finally loosened, he slid out carefully and moved to lie on his back beside his boyfriend. He mumbled a cleansing charm, too lazy to get out of bed to get a cloth. 

Draco slipped an arm under Harry’s neck and then smiled when he rolled over and plastered himself to Draco’s side. It was his favorite way to sleep, his head on Draco’s strong chest with his ear over Draco’s heart. 

“I like listening to your heart slow down after, makes me sleepy.” Harry’s voice wasn’t much more than a mumble.

“I think orgasms make you sleepy, silly git.” He couldn’t keep the smile out of his voice if he wanted to.

Harry pressed a kiss over Draco’s heart. “Good thing you love me then, isn’t it?”

Draco pulled him closer, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. “Hmmm, it’s true.”

Harry threw one leg over Draco’s hip and snuggled in closer.“Love you too Draco…” He drifted off and Draco lay there listening to the sound of him breath. 

He and Harry had come a long way since they were eleven and Draco knew that things were finally the way they were supposed to be.

  
  



End file.
